Marriage Breakdown

Where do you go? What do you do? Is there anyone to help me? 

There is a free online 'Building Stronger Families' course available to all RAF personnel and partners. Course topics include:

  • Being a couple
  • Communication
  • Sexual communications and intimacy
  • Changing roles
  • Resolving conflict
  • Step parenting
  • Me, you and the military

Relate is also there to offer more hands-on mediation support and through the RAF Benevolent Fund, you can have up to six free relationship counselling sessions to talk through issues with a trained counsellor. Face-to-face counselling, telephone counselling and advice via web-based live chat are all now available.

Whether married, living together, in a same-sex relationship, separated, divorced or single, Relate's confidential service can help.

The Family Mediation Council is also at hand and well equipped to step you through on your steps forward with any family disputes.

What about your quarter?

When a relationship in the Services breaks down there may be other issues to be addressed. A marriage breakdown in the Service, especially when occupying a quarter, is viewed differently than when in civvy street.

If the Serving person leaves the quarter and goes into single service accommodation (for example), there is a 'cooling off' period. Once this period has ended, the Service will push for a decision from the Serving person to either return to the quarter or change their Personal Status Category (PStat Cat) from 'married' to 'separated'. 

Once the Personal Status Category is changed, and this could be done by the Service person at any time, then it is the trigger for the 'notice to vacate' to be issued on the person remaining in the quarter, (Service or non-Service) and the marriage or civil partnership is viewed by the Service to be over, with all the other implications this has.

Useful Guide

There is a useful guide to help Service families during marriage or civil partnership breakdown.

It is completely Service focused and talks about the considerations when ending a legal relationship in the Services.  The guide gives emphasis to the non-serving partner but the subjects addressed are likely to be of interest to both parties.

There are sections on Service Families Accommodation and the periods of notice to vacate; where to go for alternative accommodation and financial support; helping children cope; education; legal matters; money and sources of support.

To view the booklet A Guide to help Service families during relationship breakdown

The booklet should be available through your local HIVE.

It may also be useful to view the other sections on the website:

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